I’m not saying there aren’t some specific adult life skills that may be specific to a gender identity or sexual orientation …. But ALL teens and young adults will navigate adult life with greater confidence and less stress by mastering many much-needed everyday adult life skills that are for the most part gender neutral. There many things that every adult needs to be able to do.
Years ago, when my son was a toddler, we were in a toy store in the aisle with “housekeeping” toys picking out a toy vacuum, toy ironing board and iron set and set of house cleaning toys (broom, mop, etc.). As a woman walked pass, she said, “Good for you. “I replied, “Yep these are life skills everyone needs
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Fast-forward. My son, now in college living off campus (it’s cheaper) has two longtime, childhood female friends living nearby in separate off campus apartments. Two days ago, he says, “I feel sorry for Mandy and Liza (real names withheld). ““What do you mean?” I ask. And he details the following.
Liza called me and said, “There’s gecko in my apartment. I don’t know what to do.” My son went over collected the lizard and took it outside.
Another time when the three of them were out running errands my son realized girls were not grocery shopping, like him. The girls then wanted head to Chipotle to order food. When my son asked about it, they said they always ordered out because ordering out costs the same as cooking at home. He told them, “Absolutely not.” And he explained that for the cost of their two Chipotle orders they could buy all the ingredients, cook at home and instead of only two meals could actually make 6 meals or maybe more.
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Then he said there was the time Mandy asked if he could put up a simple bookshelf for her. Without hesitation he grabbed what he assumed he’d need – a drill, a couple of different bits because he was sure of screw size and a couple different Philips head and flathead screwdrivers. He had the shelf up in minutes. Mandy said, “I guess I need to learn how to do that.” And asked, “How did you know how to do that?’ My answer: Mastering adult life critical-thinking and problem-solving skills…. and being given many opportunities for hands-on practice as he was growing up.
Mandy then said that since he was doing “the man things” she and Liza could repay him by cooking and having him over for dinner sometime. My son told her, “I am a pretty good cook and I cook all the time.” She said, “Okay then maybe if you need something sewn, we could do that. My son said, “My mom has a sewing machine and taught me how to use it and how to sew by hand. He laughed and said they made a joke of it when she asked, “Well then what kinds of things do you us to do? His answer- Nothing. They both laughed. And that is how it should be. Everyone, unless there is some special circumstance, needs to have all the skills needed to navigate daily adult life independently regardless of gender identity or sexual preference.
Look, my daughter changes her car’s windshield wiper blades, checks the car’s oil level and adds oil and replaced a burned-out taillight bulb. She has even replaced her car’s fender line.
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